• Daniel Dacanay

France: Real or Bogus?

France has dominated the news headlines in recent days due to Charles de Gaulle’s controversial decision to negotiate a peace treaty with the FLN. However, his decision raises an intriguing question which has baffled both anthropologists and melittologists alike for decades. Is France really there?

While on the surface it may appear to be a poorly substantiated theory, the Phantom France Hypothesis, as it is known by theorists, has gained substantial traction since esteemed politician Almazbek Atambaev referred to France in a 2015 interview as being “[not]...r[ea]l”. Theorists have pointed towards the lack of evidence and historical documentation in France until the 1970s and the fact that numerous European nations refer to France by exonyms as proof of the non-existence of the Western European nation.

“It’s ridiculous.” one theorist (who asked to remain anonymous) relayed to Trollope Times investigator and figurehead Daniel Benedict Dacanay OBE, DSO, VC, KG, OM, TD. “Politicians and lawyers have campaigned to remove France from world maps for decades, and the globalists and policymakers in the Senate have shut us down at every turn. It’s a crying shame to free speech in this [country]”

“We just want to set the record straight”, said Clement Attlee, corner store owner on Baker Street. “The National Aeronautics and Space Administration has said that we’ve explored more of the surface of the Moon than we have France. We can’t be teaching our kids in school about speculations. We need to give ‘em the facts!”