• H. E. Pennypacker

Where There's Smoke...

CITADEL HIGH SCHOOL - On Thursday, October 4th, students were disturbed from their C block classes when a smoke bomb, purple in colour, went off in the school.

Students were hastily ushered out of the building, taking the routes that they had mindlessly followed during drills. Ryan Simpson, Citpuck regular and advocate of math probes called it as it was: “this isn’t a drill,” he mumbled incoherently to himself, “this time, it’s real.” Eliza Fraser was not as sure as the former, saying that the smoke bomb marked a “shameful turning point” in the conduct of the students at Citadel.

The smoke bomb unleashed at Citadel comes in the wake of others that had gone off at Halifax West High School and Lockview High School. It is unclear, however, what these anarchists wish to accomplish. Perhaps, they are still irked over the walk out that took place two years ago.

The students at Citadel were left reeling from the event; forced to wait for almost an hour in the frigid cold of the autumn morning, they weren’t given any answers as to why there was a fire alarm. Was it due to phat clouds of vape being blown in the boys’ bathroom on the second floor? Had someone pulled an alarm? Or ignited a trash can? No one knew, and frankly, no one seemed to care; as long as the students missed their classes, they were left content. Some groups took advantage of the free time, with one clique even performing dances from the game Fortnite, much to the chagrin of everyone. Others took it upon themselves to post it to their Snapchat, Instagram, and ChristianMingle stories, to ensure that this historic moment could be captured online.

Fire crew had to be called to diffuse the situation, and were given a round of applause upon their exiting the building. Mr. MacDougall, Vice Principal extraordinaire and officer of the “chooch police” who monitors the bathrooms during block change, said that he would find those responsible. In the wake of this, numerous vapes have been confiscated.

The Times is left to recite the age-old idiom: where there is a smoke bomb, there is no actual fire.